Living with regrets

Everyone has regrets. I can’t say I don’t have a little.  I actually have quite a few.  Ever since I was younger, my first regret was giving up dancing.

I was about four or five-years-old when I started dance classes. My teacher was named Miss Lynn.  I went with my cousin.  We did a variety of dance material including tap, ballet and gymnastics.

I wasn’t too good at gymnastics.  Still to this day, I can’t do a cart wheel.  I wasn’t the most flexible in the class.  I couldn’t touch my toes too well without bending my knees and if you asked me to do the splits, forget it.  I was good at somersaults and that’s about it.

I shined on the floor as a tap dancer.  I was always in the middle as well.  It made me feel great that I was placed in the center of the stage.

I always knew what to do when Miss Lynn would demonstrate certain dances we had to do with our tap shoes on. I loved hearing the simple “good job” and “nice work” all of the time. It was a skill I mastered.

Just the sound of the tap shoes was great as well.  That perfect noise they make when they hit the floor gives me chills.  You know you’re dancing right when it sounds so beautiful.

On the opposite of the noisy side, ballet was there.  It was easy to me.  Standing on my tip toes wasn’t hard.  It was a challenge that I could accomplish.

What upset me most about leaving the dance world is that I left only because my cousin left.  I don’t know why I ever left because of her, but it upsets me that I wasn’t a strong individual back then like I am now.  I wasn’t a leader, I was a follower.

Who knows?  I could’ve been the next best female dancer of our time. Maybe I would’ve

been a better dancer than Fred Astaire. I can’t live through my life thinking, “What if?”

I still own a leotard I wore from back in the day at one of my dance recitals.  It may be really tiny, which obviously would be since I was around six when I wore it, but it’s big to me.  It still has a piece of my heart with it.

I never thought I’d leave a world because other’s wanted to.  Like I said, I could’ve been an amazing dancer.  I just up and left something I really loved.

This is probably my biggest regret to this day.  I have other regrets dealing with sports as well.

In my freshman year of high school, I was a three sport athlete.  I played volleyball, basketball and softball.  It ended up being too much where I just stuck to one sport, softball.

I don’t think this was my best choice.  Yes, I could hit the ball far and dive for balls in the outfield, but maybe I would’ve excelled more in volleyball or basketball.

I was so overworked when I played basketball.  I hated it with a passion.  I love the sport but I didn’t have the drive to be all I can be.  My sister had motivation to play this sport.  She played varsity as a freshman and was damn good at it.

In volleyball, I really believe I didn’t give it a second chance.  I love the sport so much.  My sister’s each excelled at the sport, especially my younger one now.  She also played varsity as a freshman.

I play volleyball now and again.  I even joined a league a few years ago, which was fun.  I just believe that if I would’ve stayed in the sport during high school, I would be more satisfied with my decisions I’ve made in the past.

When I think of all my regrets, I tend to get upset.  Listing these few examples really makes me sad that I blew off so many chances to improve in certain skills.

One thing about regretting something is that you have to let it go.  Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made.  I never thought back then that my choices would affect me today.  I guess I still have some learning to do.


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