I hate when the late fall season comes around.  The weather becomes different and the leaves change their color. The leaves do look beautiful, but knowing that winter is shortly around the corner is a terrible thought.

Pretty soon we’ll be changing the clocks again, which always mean it’s almost time for the snow and gloomy weather that I hate.  I recently was told that we were supposedly getting some snow this weekend.  If that happens I might cry.

Winter is by far the worst season possibly known to man.  I hate snow, I hate the cold and I just hate pretty much everything about winter in general. This is the season where the most signs of depression hit.  That fact shows that I’m not the only one who hates it.

When the first snowfall occurs, I’ll probably be angry, but what else could I expect? A sunny day? I only wish. I already miss summer and the warm temperatures, the smell of fresh rain and lying on a raft in my pool. Just thinking about summer makes me sad.

A really big thing that bothers me in the winter is that when you have to work in the morning, especially early in the morning, there’s a ton of ice on your windshield. It takes about ten to fifteen minutes to get the layers of ice off the car with a scraper.  On the other side, you are freezing to death doing so with numb fingers while cussing at your car.  I do not look forward to this.  I hate waiting for my car to defrost.  I like to take my time in the morning. I don’t want to worry about my car and if it’s drivable or not.

Another negative about winter is the fact that my car alone isn’t a winter car. I have a Mustang convertible.  My car is rear wheel drive and even though the tread in the back tires is great, I still have no control of it.  It is a bear to drive in the winter and I’m thankful I have more than one car in my household to share during the snowy days.

Snow is just a terrible thing to me. I know many people enjoy this dreadful season, but why? Yes, you can snowboard and go sledding, but is it really all that worth it when you have wet clothes and frostbite after doing so?

I’ve heard that snow is also referred to as “white poop.” I completely agree, it really is crappy and disgusting.  I don’t see how anyone can stand it.

Maybe it’s because everyone is used to it.  Living in Ohio, you pretty much expect snowfall every year.  It’s a guarantee.  I feel like the old retired people. I want to get out during the winters and come back in the summer.  That sounds like a plan to me.

Snow is not fun at all. Slipping all over the ice isn’t fun. Getting electric shocks when you touch something metal after having tons of static cling isn’t fun. Almost getting into a car accident because the roads aren’t paved isn’t fun.  Fun isn’t the word for this stuff. It’s impossible to say so.

I wish snow didn’t exist really. If I could move anywhere that it didn’t snow, I’d be a happy camper.  That’s how much I truly hate it.  I keep going on and on about how much it disgusts me, but I can’t help it, I dread this season every year.

It not only is my most hated season, but it’s also the longest season we have.  It begins early every year and ends late every year.  We Ohioans can never get a break. Every Groundhog’s Day I wonder if that stupid thing will ever predict a shorter winter, but even when it does, it lies to us. We always get screwed with six more weeks of winter no matter what it says.

I already heard it’s snowing in other states now. That is just terrible and I have pity for those who live there. I believe it will snow here soon as well, and I hate that fact. It snowed in April one year, which shocked us all. All I can do is just sigh.

On a completely different level, I have only one positive note about snow that is very brief and short and contains two different things: snow days and Christmas. That is all.

Everyone has regrets. I can’t say I don’t have a little.  I actually have quite a few.  Ever since I was younger, my first regret was giving up dancing.

I was about four or five-years-old when I started dance classes. My teacher was named Miss Lynn.  I went with my cousin.  We did a variety of dance material including tap, ballet and gymnastics.

I wasn’t too good at gymnastics.  Still to this day, I can’t do a cart wheel.  I wasn’t the most flexible in the class.  I couldn’t touch my toes too well without bending my knees and if you asked me to do the splits, forget it.  I was good at somersaults and that’s about it.

I shined on the floor as a tap dancer.  I was always in the middle as well.  It made me feel great that I was placed in the center of the stage.

I always knew what to do when Miss Lynn would demonstrate certain dances we had to do with our tap shoes on. I loved hearing the simple “good job” and “nice work” all of the time. It was a skill I mastered.

Just the sound of the tap shoes was great as well.  That perfect noise they make when they hit the floor gives me chills.  You know you’re dancing right when it sounds so beautiful.

On the opposite of the noisy side, ballet was there.  It was easy to me.  Standing on my tip toes wasn’t hard.  It was a challenge that I could accomplish.

What upset me most about leaving the dance world is that I left only because my cousin left.  I don’t know why I ever left because of her, but it upsets me that I wasn’t a strong individual back then like I am now.  I wasn’t a leader, I was a follower.

Who knows?  I could’ve been the next best female dancer of our time. Maybe I would’ve

been a better dancer than Fred Astaire. I can’t live through my life thinking, “What if?”

I still own a leotard I wore from back in the day at one of my dance recitals.  It may be really tiny, which obviously would be since I was around six when I wore it, but it’s big to me.  It still has a piece of my heart with it.

I never thought I’d leave a world because other’s wanted to.  Like I said, I could’ve been an amazing dancer.  I just up and left something I really loved.

This is probably my biggest regret to this day.  I have other regrets dealing with sports as well.

In my freshman year of high school, I was a three sport athlete.  I played volleyball, basketball and softball.  It ended up being too much where I just stuck to one sport, softball.

I don’t think this was my best choice.  Yes, I could hit the ball far and dive for balls in the outfield, but maybe I would’ve excelled more in volleyball or basketball.

I was so overworked when I played basketball.  I hated it with a passion.  I love the sport but I didn’t have the drive to be all I can be.  My sister had motivation to play this sport.  She played varsity as a freshman and was damn good at it.

In volleyball, I really believe I didn’t give it a second chance.  I love the sport so much.  My sister’s each excelled at the sport, especially my younger one now.  She also played varsity as a freshman.

I play volleyball now and again.  I even joined a league a few years ago, which was fun.  I just believe that if I would’ve stayed in the sport during high school, I would be more satisfied with my decisions I’ve made in the past.

When I think of all my regrets, I tend to get upset.  Listing these few examples really makes me sad that I blew off so many chances to improve in certain skills.

One thing about regretting something is that you have to let it go.  Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made.  I never thought back then that my choices would affect me today.  I guess I still have some learning to do.

I have never been a really good people person.  People often tell me to smile more or ask me if something’s wrong.  Apparently I’m miserable, who knows.  It’s definitely not true. If anything, the people in today’s society are what bug me the most.

I think people are getting worse by the day.  People are so impatient and really disappointing to me.  It seems like over the years I’ve noticed people become so inhuman.

My grandma has told me about her viewpoint of the people in today’s society.  According to her, they are exactly as I see them—crabby and rude.

I deal with some of the worst people at my job. You can say it’s a nice and easy job to work at, but being in retail sucks. The people are always cranky and mean, especially the elderly customers.

What I hate is that you can never get a “thank you” out of anyone.  When I say, “Have a nice day,” you would think they would respond with a kind gesture.  All I get is a blank stare or a head nod.  Sometimes I feel like half of them are deaf.

Being in customer service, you meet the real winners. They throw a fit when you tell them they aren’t able to return a used hairbrush or a used lipstick because it wasn’t the right color.  I would love to know who in their right mind would ever think to return something so stupid.  Maybe I’m being too critical, but my fellow employees would agree with me to the fullest.

Half of the time, I think I’m taking crazy pills.  I wonder why I continue to work in this field of work.  My only reason is for the money.

On the plus side, this job is good for me.  I can learn to work with any kind of person imaginable.  It’s a good way to learn how people are.

Aside from this, I always see people come in looking for trouble right away.  I can see it in their eyes.  They know they make your day worse when they put up a fight to get their 25-cent return because “the sign said that.”

This leads me to another point. Everyone in retail is told that the customer is always right.  Well guess what, the customer is NOT always right.  The customer is wrong 99 percent of the time.

I just wish people knew how stupid they look when they make a big deal out of nothing.  Sometimes it really upsets me to see them try to make a fool out of anyone I work with.  It’s sickening to see them get satisfaction from hurting someone’s feelings.

Then I realize something about these people, they are unhappy with life.  You can just tell.  They enjoy making others miserable.

I have been in the position where a customer has gotten so mad at my coworker that they called her a stupid bitch to her face.  She just sat there.  I asked her why she didn’t say anything and she responded, “I didn’t know what to say because I was so shocked.”

In my personal belief, I will never let someone bring me down.  Every job tells you to take the heat because it’s your job on the line, but if I have someone up in my face, I’m not going to just sit there and let him or her ridicule me.  I say something, which is probably not the best thing, but my manager is always there to back me.

I think the society we live in today is terrible.  Maybe it’s because of the poor economy we live in, but who knows.  I believe you should treat others as you would treat yourself.

I would love to come into work and have no problems with a customer.  It seems like every time I work, there is that one customer who gets me heated.  On rare occasion, I don’t experience a rough day of work.  It really is surprising to me. I feel like I’ve survived the battle.

I’m not happy because I deal with these people, but that’s life for you. I’ve learned to take life as it is.  You need to make each day count, no matter who or what is in your way and roll with the punches.

This goes to the part where I need to smile more.  It’s been said; if you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours. I need to learn this concept soon.  Maybe I’ll change someone’s attitude, but with the people today, I can highly doubt it.

I’m just curious as to why some people think it’s attractive to wear goggles as glasses?

Is it really attractive?

You tell me. I think if anything they look utterly ridiculous and need to take a look in the mirror.

I can’t stop laughing at the stupid things people do. If we didn’t have people like this in our lives, we wouldn’t be able to make it through one day.

It’s like they’re lost and need to figure out the direction they’re going in.

Boy oh boy, some people you just can’t reach.

In my experience as a middle school student, the tragedies on September 11 didn’t really affect me as it would today. You don’t really know the severity of the situation. I was in seventh grade when the attacks occurred. I was in gym class. It started to freak me out when my fellow students were getting calls from their parents to come home. I was wondering why my parents didn’t call for me. 

When my mom picked me up, she asked me if I heard anything about what had happened. I explained to her that I saw some things on the television in lunch, but the teachers turned them off. My mom told me that our country was attacked and that she had been listening to the radio and watching the television all day about it. My jaw dropped. Why would anyone do this? I don’t see how tragedy can be so bittersweet for some people.

The ten year anniversary of the attacks happened a few days ago. It’s crazy to see how time flies so fast. I recently went to New York City during summer break. They were finishing up a memorial site for the families, friends and people visiting or living in the city. It was remarkable to see where the World Trade Center was. It was insane. I couldn’t imagine how it was ten years ago. Seeing people flying out of buildings to their death would haunt me to this day and forever. Anyone should visit this location when they get the chance; it’s epic.

The weekend of my birthday on September 10, I went to Miami Beach with my boyfriend and his friend, and my sister and her friend. Aside from being excited for the hot weather and amazing ocean, I had my fears of flying on the airplane to get there. I was scared mainly because it was the ten year anniversary of the attacks. Even though we left on September 9, I still was nervous.

Going to the airport, my stomach was in knots. When we got our baggage slips and boarding passes, we had to pass through security. Thankfully, the security was very high. At the check-in, you put your entire carry-on luggage on the belt, including your shoes and even pant belts. After that process, everyone had to stand in a giant security scanner and put their hand up over their heads, at an exact stance with their feet straight. When I got out, they had to pat me down, only because I was wearing layers of t-shirts. After this process, I felt safer to be on an airplane.

Still, you never know what to expect when going on a plane. I was very cautious when waiting for the boarding to begin. I tried making light of the situation by making comments.  There had to be some sort of air marshal on the plane, especially on this weekend in particular. Getting on the plane was the most nervous part for me. I was ready for the worst to happen, but I was thinking positively. As long as I kept my head forward and my eyes straight, I would be able to defeat my fear. Thankfully, our plane landed safely with no hesitations or interruptions.

Still, we had another flight to catch in an hour. The other flight landed perfectly and on schedule. To say the least, I was relieved.

Coming home was another worry only because it was the day after 9-11. I heard that terrorists were plotting to attack again, but why would they make it so obvious? If anything, they would attack on a different day. Again, thankfully, we landed smoothly and safely home.

The security anywhere nowadays is way more advanced. You can’t even bring a bottle of shampoo with you on your carry-on unless it’s less than six ounces. I am grateful that Delta airlines kept me safe through the whole process and first time in my life flying as an adult. (The first time I ever flew was when I was about four-years-old.)

I will fly one day again, maybe in December when I graduate. I am glad that I know I can be safe flying with the security we have in America now.

The attacks on 9-11 didn’t only change and affect the lives of the families, friends and people there, it affected the whole world. In my eyes, we need to thank America and the protection we have here and be grateful that there is a way we can be safe.

“Letting go is the hardest part.”

For years, my heart has been on love lockdown. It’s something you can’t control.

I have a happy life with my family, friends, and boyfriend. They keep me going. I just want one person out of my head. HIM.

We were perfect for each other. Every journal entry was about him. It was a school girl crush, but not really. He used the word LOVE. That, by any word in the English dictionary, yet alone in any language, is probably one of the most powerful.

But then, we knew it wouldn’t work out. He left for good. Miles and miles away. His mom got a job. I sat there depressed for a while.

We weren’t a couple, and barely ever kissed.  Little pecks were all that came out of what was a “relationship”. Our one week boyfriend and girlfriend experience was spent on the phone.
Up and down and down and up we went. Like a rollercoaster back and forth and upside down. Over 6 years of nonsense, yet still feelings are bundled up inside my chest. I want to let them go, but how do you erase your first love? You can’t. You move on.

The strong part is still caring for that person, and WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST for them. They will always be a part of your life no matter what.

It’s been over 4 years and I’ve moved on. It took a while, but I did it. From sappy text messages, phone calls, pictures, everything. I made it through.

The man in my life now is more than any thing I could ever imagine. Wonderful. Amazing. Caring. The list goes on. He treats me as if I were the only girl in the world. I am blessed to have such a wonderful person in my life who would risk anything to make me happy. Go to the store and buy me medicine, pick me up Starbucks, visit to just say hi.

I’ve learned through the tears and sorrow from my past, that there are other people out there that can love you just as much and if not, even more.

Letting go is the hardest part, but my heads above the water, and I’m never going to let myself sink back in.

<3

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